The Bicycle helped to save my marriage
This is a story of Dan and Mary Bradshaw who over time, like many in relationships, had lost their way and how that bicycle ride triggered something, something forgotten, something suppressed by the everyday hustle.
You see Dan worked for the town and Mary worked at the local grocery store. They met in college, fell in love, mortgaged a house, financed a vehicle and had children. The “perfect life” as we all have come to accept through Rose coloured glasses, but through the haze of debt, activities, and bills something was put to the side, on the shelf without even realizing. That something gathers dust, loses its lustre, becomes forgotten and eventually ends up in a box labeled Dan’s Stuff or Mary’s Stuff. What was once one, shared, and treasured was now close to being shipped on….. separately.
Well they still had their bicycles and that fateful day. It was July 8th 2009 and what was to be considered a normal day at the Bradshaws. Mary got home first after she picked up their first child who had just started middle school checked the mail, let the dog out, and started supper. Can of pasta sauce and dry pasta, something quick as Dan would be home soon with their child who was in grade school and had to be at soccer by 6:00 pm while the other had dance at 6:30 pm. At least soccer was close, dance was against traffic and halfway across town. Dan arrived and they made their usual none greetings as they were room mates, house guests, passers by, anything but a couple in love. So many things on their plates, supper, soccer, dance, bills, groceries, the list went on and on. Where was Dan and Mary on this plate? The plate had somehow become too small and they had too much on it or at least so they thought.
After dinner they rushed off in different directions tending to their children’s activities of which they did enjoy, but with all the stuff on their plates it was difficult to stay focused, stay present and in the moment. Of course there was laundry, homework, cleaning, get to bed exhausted to get some much needed rest to repeat the process the next day.
But on that day as Mary pulled up after the dance lessons she noticed the car was making a strange noise, well at least she made it home. Parked and went in the house to assess what needed to be done before the next day arrived. First things first….breakfast tomorrow, do we have any milk? Dan! she shouted, we are out of milk plus we could use some bread, eggs, cheese, toilet paper and cereal while you are out. Dan complied, grabbed the keys and headed out the door. He arrived just a moment later asking if Mary had noticed anything strange about the car…yes she said, made funny noises when I drove home. Well Dan said “it’s done, won’t start. It’s too far to walk.” “Ride the bicycle” Mary said. “I can’t carry all those items on a bicycle, do I look like some kind of circus act? Why don’t you come with me” Dan mumbled. Mary as with Dan, hadn’t been on a bike for over 15 years and with some hesitation agreed to join.
They dug the bicycles out of the shed and after a quick inspection for road worthiness hopped on and started their ride to relationship recovery. Dan sped off and did a big skid, Mary thought that’s ridiculous but desired to try one herself. Dan said let’s go down the alley where there is more gravel, easier to lock them up and do a power skid. Mary skidded and they both laughed boisterously, let’s see who can do a longer one! What’s next? “How about a wheelie, I used to be so good at wheelies” Dan shouted. They were riding their bicycles together laughing, jumping curbs, doing skids and performing 3 inch wheelies….something was there, something they hadn’t felt in years, that spark, that reason they loved each other.
They made to the grocery store and back enjoying every single minute along the way, forgetting everything that kept them so busy for just a moment in time to create a moment in time together. From that day on Dan and Mary committed to going for a bicycle ride together at least once a week. They are to this day still riding their bicycles taking the time even if it’s short to do something together just the two of them to keep that “something’s lustre” never letting that something gather dust.
As we really enjoyed that story we also recommend some of these great marriage resources.